I wasn't going to do one of these posts, but ...

I am. Sorry. You don't have to read it. And I don't want to be one of those girls whose life is over and all they do is talk about how sad they are. I really am okay. I mean, it's hard for me, but I'm doing fine and my life isn't over or anything. I have a lot to be excited about, and I am. For the most part, I'm happy. But, it's still hard.

Anyways, here's what I was thinking about lately ...

Why break ups suck:
-Everyone asks you about it. And what happened. But you don't really know how to explain.
-Everything reminds you about them. And that makes you sad.
-You have to start dating again, which can be both good and bad.
-Facebook does not make break ups easier.
-All your plans are suddenly void and you have to come up with new ones.
-Sometimes, they just ... suck.

Why break ups actually are good, despite being hard:
-It's obviously better this way, or it wouldn't have happened.
-Boys become a lot more interesting again.
-You see how loved you are, by more than just one person in your life.
-There are a lot of exciting things you can do, single, that maybe you couldn't before or that would have been harder. There are so many different activities and goals to work on in this world and life, a break up doesn't have to become the end of the world.

Book Frenzy

I have been in a reading craze lately. Do you ever do that? I get these times in my life when all I want to do is read, and then read, and then read some more. It comes in gushes, and when it comes, I get so many books piled up that I can't possibly hope to read them all. But hope I do, anyways. And I read like crazy. And then, it slows and I only read now and then. I think that probably I'm always in the middle of at least one book, but at times like these, I can't help but be in the middle of at least three. I get so excited about reading a book, but then also about reading another and another. I think other people go through this too, I know some people who are always going through this. I can't handle it all the time, it takes too much time and then I would never get anything done in my life.

I just finished A Separate Peace. Again. I definitely appreciated it a lot more than when I read it in tenth grade as required reading. It was beautiful writing. I love when authors put words together that shouldn't belong together but do. And some of the words he put together, well, they were so beautiful; it was poetry, in a novel. I'm glad I read it again. I just didn't really understand the point of it when I was sixteen, I didn't really get what it was about. Not really. I want to go back and reread a lot of the books I read when in high school English classes.

Do this.

In institute, my teacher had us all try something and it had a big impact on me. You should all try it.

Go to Moses 1:39.
Read the verse, replacing the last word with your name.
Sit and think about how you feel.

It's incredible to me how much the Lord loves me. I feel so blessed sometimes. I have so many reasons to feel that way all the time.

My life is CRAZY.

Well. My life has been insane lately. That's why I haven't written in a while.

I've worked soooo much. It's a good thing. I am so glad I have this job. Now I just need to figure out what I'm doing for work once school starts.

I've gotten to see my family tons. It's been really nice, especially with how much time I've gotten to hang out with my mom.

I've also been working on my yard tons. I've gotten nice and tan from that. And cleaning out our house. My mom and I took a huge carload of stuff to Savers today. It felt so nice getting rid of it all.

I am in an institute class now with Ashley and Maree. It's really good, it's about how to better study your scriptures. I've been working on that a lot lately. It's so nice.

I've also started running. I run with Ashley and Jon, when we can work it out. I'm not very good at it yet, but I like it and I'm getting better. It feels good to finally be doing it.

I got a calling in my homeward. I am going to help teach the sixteen-year-old Sunday school class while their teacher has a baby, just for the summer. I'm excited. I don't know if I've talked about it yet on this blog, but I also get to be a trek ma, come August. I'm very excited for that, it'll be a really good experience.

And dance. Of course. Dance takes up a lot of my time, but it's worth it. I can't wait for our big dance performance! It's going to be awesome! It will be a relief to have a break this summer though, I will admit.

Today I got a letter from Jeremy. I love that. He always says exactly what I need to hear. This letter was the best yet. I sure love that kid. And miss him. Summer and being him, plus going to the Institute building so much, makes me miss him a lot. I am so glad I still get to write to him. It's been about six months since he left. A fourth of the way done!

Well. That's my life. And it's crazy.

A few life lessons I've learned from dance

Creepers are everywhere. No, but really.

The harder you work, the more it pays off.

Goals take patience and work.

Doing something simply because you love it is the best motivation.

Do not drink a full water bottle of water right before dancing.

It's easier to keep going when you are surrounded by people you love.

One of the best feelings is pain that you know you earned.

If you don't try to get your leg up there, it's never gonna get up there.

Don't quit.

The most satisfying thing in the world is finally doing something you weren't able to do before.

You have to push yourself to grow.

Some days just aren't your day.

Practice.

When you have something in your eye, just cry.

Anyone can dance.

The best way to bond is working until you sweat and laughing until you can't breathe.

Some people never stop being your friend.

A simple dance with crossed feet and straight lines looks better than a complicated dance without.

Core really does affect the rest of your performance.

Sometimes you try and try and try without success and then, all of the sudden, it comes easy.

It's worth it.

There's not really a better feeling than getting a letter from your best friend who happens to be in Finland

I was cleaning out all my stuff again this summer, now that I'm back home and I came across this picture. I love this. So much. Especially when I compare it to one of my other favorite pictures of Jeremy and I together.

I miss my best friend.

It's been a month? Yeah ... About that ...

Wow, it's been quite a while since I've posted on my blogs! See, what happened was finals. And then I moved home. Yeah, it's nice. Except I don't have internet without my mom home. That's normally a good thing, since it's a lot easier not to waste time and everything. But then again, certain things like emailing Jeremy and writing on this blog don't seem to happen as often.

Ok, so maybe I do email Jeremy just as much. I sure miss that kid. It's a lot better now than a few weeks after he left, I will admit. Sometimes, though, something will just make me miss him tons. It happened this week. On Tuesday, I was texting some people and organizing a get-together with a few people to watch a movie. I wanted so badly to call Jeremy or go pick him up. It made me want to cry, knowing I couldn't. But he is doing so great, he is such an awesome missionary!

I finished up my finals just fine and got pretty decent grades. My first of college was fun, but it's a relief to be done. I am done at UVU for good now, I'll be going up to Weber next year. I'm so excited for that. There are a few good friends in Orem that I'll miss hanging out with, but for the most part, I'm glad to be out of Orem and to be going to Ogden. I've gone up a few times to figure out things and I already know I'll really like it. Plus, it's close to Ben and that'll be wonderful.

I got a new phone and a new job! I love both. I work at the Macey's grocery store deli, it's great. You can come visit me if you want. Just kidding. But really, I like it a lot. That's all I have so far for a definite plan for summer, but hopefully I get the rest figured out this next week.

That's basically my life right now. I'm still trying to figure out my plans for everything, but things are starting to fall into place. I'm excited to be doing the things that I am right now and am especially excited for next school year to start. I love being home for these few months and am so glad that I got a job. Ben is still so sweet and I have wonderful friends and family.

Well, I'll try to keep my posts updated. Goodbye for now!