I'm getting really close to my due date, it's crazy. I haven't gotten to that point some women talk about, when they just want the baby out of them. I've been really blessed with a pretty easy pregnancy and still like being pregnant. I have to admit, though, that there are times I really want to hold my baby. Not that I would mind if she came late, just so that I have longer to get more schoolwork done before I have a baby to balance with class.
Of course, I could go into labor safely any day now. Ben and I were laughing the other night, thinking of places that would be less than ideal for me to go into labor at.
At the testing center at BYU, in the middle of one of my tests.
On the drive between here and Vernal, in the middle of nowhere somewhere.
(which won't happen; it's too far to travel this close to my due date).
In the middle of a temple session.
While teaching dance in Riverton.
On the bus to or from school.
Of course, none of these scenarios is very likely. Luckily, I spend most of my time at or near home. Even if I did go into labor any of these places, it would be easily handled.
Now we just wait and see when and where it happens.
Friday, October 3, 2014
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Just an Update
Well. Life has been crazy lately.
Ben is in the last week of Kickstarter project for a book on a programming language that he's writing. It's been really exciting to see how successful it's been. Now he just has to finish the book and hopefully people will continue to buy it even after the Kickstarter finishes.
On top of writing a book, Ben is also working full time at TestOut, going to school part time, working on contract work for Kynetx (the company he previously worked for) still and another contract job with GameMaker. He's also started working out again, now that one of his friends is up here in Orem to go with. On top of all of that, he is continuing to work on his YouTube channel doing GameMaker tutorials (the main reason for our Kickstarter success) and working on his game Grain War. He is crazy busy at the moment.
I have started my new semester and I'm really enjoying it. It's SO much better than last semester. I am taking 15 credits, 9 of which are online. I am also doing a credit of research assisting to finish off my capstone and taking a D&C class through the Orem Institute for BYU credit to get my final religion credit out of the way. I like all of my classes a lot so far and the teachers all seem really willing to work with my pregnancy and soon-to-be-here baby.
I also am a TA (teacher's assistant), which is about 5 to 10 hours a week, but I get paid for it. The teacher I am doing it for doesn't mind that I'm having a baby in a month and seems really chill with things. I love that teacher and the class, though, and am really excited to be doing it.
I have taken a break from dancing, since it's pretty dangerous to do those kinds of things this late in pregnancy. I really miss it and am hoping to go back in January. I am still teaching, though, and love that. I love all my students so much and am really excited to be able to teach them hardshoe; I've only ever taught advanced hardshoe, so beginner is a new experience for me and I'm really excited for it.
Ben and I were laughing, with how busy we are, that we are adding a baby to all of it soon. We are really excited for that, though, even though we know it will be a transition for us. Life has been going really well for us and we're very grateful.
Ben is in the last week of Kickstarter project for a book on a programming language that he's writing. It's been really exciting to see how successful it's been. Now he just has to finish the book and hopefully people will continue to buy it even after the Kickstarter finishes.
On top of writing a book, Ben is also working full time at TestOut, going to school part time, working on contract work for Kynetx (the company he previously worked for) still and another contract job with GameMaker. He's also started working out again, now that one of his friends is up here in Orem to go with. On top of all of that, he is continuing to work on his YouTube channel doing GameMaker tutorials (the main reason for our Kickstarter success) and working on his game Grain War. He is crazy busy at the moment.
I have started my new semester and I'm really enjoying it. It's SO much better than last semester. I am taking 15 credits, 9 of which are online. I am also doing a credit of research assisting to finish off my capstone and taking a D&C class through the Orem Institute for BYU credit to get my final religion credit out of the way. I like all of my classes a lot so far and the teachers all seem really willing to work with my pregnancy and soon-to-be-here baby.
I also am a TA (teacher's assistant), which is about 5 to 10 hours a week, but I get paid for it. The teacher I am doing it for doesn't mind that I'm having a baby in a month and seems really chill with things. I love that teacher and the class, though, and am really excited to be doing it.
I have taken a break from dancing, since it's pretty dangerous to do those kinds of things this late in pregnancy. I really miss it and am hoping to go back in January. I am still teaching, though, and love that. I love all my students so much and am really excited to be able to teach them hardshoe; I've only ever taught advanced hardshoe, so beginner is a new experience for me and I'm really excited for it.
Ben and I were laughing, with how busy we are, that we are adding a baby to all of it soon. We are really excited for that, though, even though we know it will be a transition for us. Life has been going really well for us and we're very grateful.
Monday, August 18, 2014
Pregnancy: The Unexpected
You read all the time about the morning sickness, mood swings, and extra trips to the bathroom. Some things you just expect to come with your pregnancy. There are some things, though, that I was definitely not expecting.
How often she moves. I was expecting the kicks, but she moves ALL the time. And by moves, I mean, she really moves. She rolls around and squirms all over the place. And the hiccups. It's really cute.
The back aches. I have a pain in my rib cage--a ligament pain--, which is apparently really normal. It only bothers me when I sit too long, so like when we drive to Vernal or when I actually sat through all of class last semester. I also recently have been experiencing just plain back aches. It's really weird for me, I've never had any problems with my back whatsoever. I'm getting bigger, of course, but I don't think I'm that big yet, so it surprised me that I would be getting back pains already.
The weight gain fluctuations. I have the weirdest weight gain, I swear. When I first was pregnant, I lost seven pounds, due to my inability to even look at food while morning sick. After that first appointment, though, I did my best to get enough calories and gained back four pounds. After that, my morning sickness was (thankfully) gone and I was back to eating. I thought this meant I would continue to gain weight, but apparently my sudden reactivity (i.e. being able to move again) took its toll and I lost the four pounds I had previously gained. After that, it was a constant fluctuation between gaining and losing until finally I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight about a month ago. Then this last visit, I found out I had gained ten pounds in two weeks. I hadn't been doing anything different and I hadn't noticed a big change except in my stomach (which got a lot bigger and much more pregnancy-ish), so we figure my baby must have had a growth spurt. I'm interested to see what the change is this next week.
The irritability. I was so worried that I was going to be an emotional wreck due to pregnancy hormones. You hear all these stories about it and I was a very emotional person before I was pregnant. Pregnancy, though, kind of chilled me out. At least at first. I've had a few emotional moments that I fully blame on pregnancy (like that time I started crying when I was telling Ben about cheating on my pregnancy diet and eating a hamburger) but for the most part, I have been more relaxed emotionally. Except for my irritability, mostly when I'm walking on campus. I get so annoyed at people sometimes, for really dumb things. Like, why are their shoes so LOUD? Do they have to walk so SLOW? Why are they walking THREE across the sidewalk? I don't know why, but walking around BYU campus sometimes gets me so riled up.
How HOT I feel, all the time. The 100 degree weather we've had this year? Yeah, it kills me now. I'm fine if I can stay indoors most of the day, or at least when it's hottest outside. When I was in school and had to walk back from class between noon and three, THAT was horrible. There were days I didn't go to class simply because I couldn't handle the thought of having to go outside when it was so hot.
The hunger. I have been so hungry, since like ten weeks. I'm serious. I have to take snacks to church or I can't stay the whole time. I thought (from what I'd read online) that the hunger would subside during the second trimester. Nope. It's been a constant thing. I don't understand the weight fluctuations simply because I eat all the time. I have gone into pretty much every appointment expecting to have gained a ton. Ben calls me his baby dinosaur ... meanie. I do eat a lot, but I make sure it is all healthy food, so I don't feel bad. I know that if my body is telling me to eat, then I need to.
How much I already love this little baby. I am not worried about feeling a connection with Ashtyn when she's born or anything like that. I already feel like she is my life and I would do anything for her. I am so excited for when I can hold her; sometimes I see other babies and my heart just aches for her to be born. I know it's going to be hard and I have my reservations (particularly about the whole not sleeping very much thing), but I know that this is what I'm supposed to be doing right now with my life. I am so grateful for the opportunity to be a mother. That is what God sent me here for, I can feel it. I know that any of the little things with pregnancy that might be uncomfortable or inconvenient, they're worth it. I'm doing this all for my daughter and that's all that matters.
The hunger. I have been so hungry, since like ten weeks. I'm serious. I have to take snacks to church or I can't stay the whole time. I thought (from what I'd read online) that the hunger would subside during the second trimester. Nope. It's been a constant thing. I don't understand the weight fluctuations simply because I eat all the time. I have gone into pretty much every appointment expecting to have gained a ton. Ben calls me his baby dinosaur ... meanie. I do eat a lot, but I make sure it is all healthy food, so I don't feel bad. I know that if my body is telling me to eat, then I need to.
How much I already love this little baby. I am not worried about feeling a connection with Ashtyn when she's born or anything like that. I already feel like she is my life and I would do anything for her. I am so excited for when I can hold her; sometimes I see other babies and my heart just aches for her to be born. I know it's going to be hard and I have my reservations (particularly about the whole not sleeping very much thing), but I know that this is what I'm supposed to be doing right now with my life. I am so grateful for the opportunity to be a mother. That is what God sent me here for, I can feel it. I know that any of the little things with pregnancy that might be uncomfortable or inconvenient, they're worth it. I'm doing this all for my daughter and that's all that matters.
Monday, July 21, 2014
Plugging Away At School ... Reluctantly
I'm feeling really burned out with school. I know that I'm almost done, but it doesn't feel close enough. I just feel ready to be done. I want to be able to do the stuff that I want to do, instead of homework and writing papers on subjects that I don't really care about and studying for stupid tests.
It's not that I don't like learning. I just want to focus learning about the stuff that I want to learn about and I really want to focus on my own writing. I also want to do stuff to help Ben with his projects right now. I am half way through the term, meaning I have four weeks left. It's killing me though.
Five credits is considered full time, you can take 9 credits. It's less because BYU breaks up summer semester into two terms--Spring and Summer. I was planning on taking 9 credits both terms and then finish off my last few classes winter semester, taking fall off to have the baby. Then I got a scholarship for fall (not for winter) and went in to talk with my adviser to figure out what I was going to do. I discovered, though, that (due to graduation credit requirements), I had to take more credits than I had planned for. We decided it would be best to just push through and finish.So she got me set up for twelve credits this semester and I decided to try to finish this fall.
That sounded like the best plan at the time. It still does, actually. Except that I feel like dropping out of school because I'm so sick of it. Of course, there's no way I'd drop out with only 14 credits to go, but it sounds more and more tempting with every homework assignment I get.
One of the classes I have right now is fine--SFL 325, Forming Marital Relationships. I like it a lot and it's not too hard. I have homework, of course, but it is manageable and I'm interested in it. It's the easiest 300+ level class I've ever had. Seriously. But I like it a lot. For three of my credits, I'm a research assistant for the professor of that class and I love that (when I don't feel so overwhelmed trying to get my weekly hours AND getting all my other homework done).
My other two classes are the ones that are killing me. The first one is Nutrition 100. Yeah, a 100 level class on nutrition. Sounds easy, right? That's what I thought, which is why I took it as a filler credit. Totally isn't an easy class. The workload is huge and they didn't cut it back any for summer term despite it only being eight weeks. We have a test less than every two weeks, and they're HARD tests. I love nutrition, so I thought I would love the class. Unfortunately, I don't.
My last class is the worst. It fulfills my second humanitarian credit (because every person with a degree needs to take two humanitarian classes, right?). It's called Classical Tradition. I kept trying to take philosophy to fill it, but it never worked out (it filled up too fast). This was what I thought was the next best option. I should have taken it fall. The teacher is insane. He has his class read twelve books and doesn't cut it down for summer term (that's twelve books in eight weeks). That's on top of his four tests, two papers, and two quizzes every class period. He lectures for half the time on the books we read and the other half of the time, he lectures on the history around that time period. I am not really interested in the subject and it's SO MUCH work for the stupid credit. It's killing me.
I think if I can just get through the next four weeks and pass all my classes, then I'll be okay. Just four more weeks and a bunch of homework.
It's not that I don't like learning. I just want to focus learning about the stuff that I want to learn about and I really want to focus on my own writing. I also want to do stuff to help Ben with his projects right now. I am half way through the term, meaning I have four weeks left. It's killing me though.
Five credits is considered full time, you can take 9 credits. It's less because BYU breaks up summer semester into two terms--Spring and Summer. I was planning on taking 9 credits both terms and then finish off my last few classes winter semester, taking fall off to have the baby. Then I got a scholarship for fall (not for winter) and went in to talk with my adviser to figure out what I was going to do. I discovered, though, that (due to graduation credit requirements), I had to take more credits than I had planned for. We decided it would be best to just push through and finish.So she got me set up for twelve credits this semester and I decided to try to finish this fall.
That sounded like the best plan at the time. It still does, actually. Except that I feel like dropping out of school because I'm so sick of it. Of course, there's no way I'd drop out with only 14 credits to go, but it sounds more and more tempting with every homework assignment I get.
One of the classes I have right now is fine--SFL 325, Forming Marital Relationships. I like it a lot and it's not too hard. I have homework, of course, but it is manageable and I'm interested in it. It's the easiest 300+ level class I've ever had. Seriously. But I like it a lot. For three of my credits, I'm a research assistant for the professor of that class and I love that (when I don't feel so overwhelmed trying to get my weekly hours AND getting all my other homework done).
My other two classes are the ones that are killing me. The first one is Nutrition 100. Yeah, a 100 level class on nutrition. Sounds easy, right? That's what I thought, which is why I took it as a filler credit. Totally isn't an easy class. The workload is huge and they didn't cut it back any for summer term despite it only being eight weeks. We have a test less than every two weeks, and they're HARD tests. I love nutrition, so I thought I would love the class. Unfortunately, I don't.
My last class is the worst. It fulfills my second humanitarian credit (because every person with a degree needs to take two humanitarian classes, right?). It's called Classical Tradition. I kept trying to take philosophy to fill it, but it never worked out (it filled up too fast). This was what I thought was the next best option. I should have taken it fall. The teacher is insane. He has his class read twelve books and doesn't cut it down for summer term (that's twelve books in eight weeks). That's on top of his four tests, two papers, and two quizzes every class period. He lectures for half the time on the books we read and the other half of the time, he lectures on the history around that time period. I am not really interested in the subject and it's SO MUCH work for the stupid credit. It's killing me.
I think if I can just get through the next four weeks and pass all my classes, then I'll be okay. Just four more weeks and a bunch of homework.
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
Pregnant Life
Well, life is crazy. I am 27 weeks today and barely in my third trimester. I only have about three months left until Ashtyn gets here, which totally blows my mind. I'm so excited.
We've been getting all ready for her. We love yard sales and KSL. We already have so many clothes, all of which have been like twenty five or fifty cents each at yard sales. We got a cute little Winnie the Pooh stroller for ten dollars, which we were pretty happy about. The best deal we've gotten so far, though, is our car seat. It came with a base, insert, and cover and is only a year old, no accidents. It was only twenty dollars for everything. We were so excited! We've also had so many people helping us out, we're so blessed. We got our crib, basically brand new for free, along with a playpen. I've also had so many offers for baby showers, I feel so lucky to have so many wonderful people in my life.
I've organized all the clothes, though I'm sure I'll reorganize it many times more before she actually gets here. I've tried to clean all the stuff we've been storing in our spare room and put it other places. That's been a project and a half. It's close to being done though. This week, we're getting rid of the bed in there and then we can set up the crib and everything. I still have no idea how to decorate ...
I've been doing everything I can to make sure I'm ready to give birth too. I have a bunch of supplements and vitamins that I take, exercises and stretches that I do, and I try to do Hypnobabies everyday. I am following a pretty strict diet to make sure I get my baby all the nutrients it needs without putting anything that might harm my body or the baby (and that would make labor more difficult). That can be pretty challenging at times, but my sweet husband is doing it with me and we have found lots of really delicious, totally diet-approved foods.
I love being pregnant, but I don't really love school. I'm taking 12 credits right now, which (because it is a term instead of a semester) is the equivalent of taking 21 credits. It's really crazy. Two of my classes are lower level general classes, which I thought would make it easier. They are way harder than my upper-division credits, though, simply because of the workload. I feel like I'm drowning. I only have four more weeks and then I'll be done with this semester. I know it'll get easier (at least at first) then. I'll also have a week break then, which will be nice since it's my first week-long break since Christmas. I can't wait until December when I'm done with school for forever!
We've been getting all ready for her. We love yard sales and KSL. We already have so many clothes, all of which have been like twenty five or fifty cents each at yard sales. We got a cute little Winnie the Pooh stroller for ten dollars, which we were pretty happy about. The best deal we've gotten so far, though, is our car seat. It came with a base, insert, and cover and is only a year old, no accidents. It was only twenty dollars for everything. We were so excited! We've also had so many people helping us out, we're so blessed. We got our crib, basically brand new for free, along with a playpen. I've also had so many offers for baby showers, I feel so lucky to have so many wonderful people in my life.
I've organized all the clothes, though I'm sure I'll reorganize it many times more before she actually gets here. I've tried to clean all the stuff we've been storing in our spare room and put it other places. That's been a project and a half. It's close to being done though. This week, we're getting rid of the bed in there and then we can set up the crib and everything. I still have no idea how to decorate ...
I've been doing everything I can to make sure I'm ready to give birth too. I have a bunch of supplements and vitamins that I take, exercises and stretches that I do, and I try to do Hypnobabies everyday. I am following a pretty strict diet to make sure I get my baby all the nutrients it needs without putting anything that might harm my body or the baby (and that would make labor more difficult). That can be pretty challenging at times, but my sweet husband is doing it with me and we have found lots of really delicious, totally diet-approved foods.
I love being pregnant, but I don't really love school. I'm taking 12 credits right now, which (because it is a term instead of a semester) is the equivalent of taking 21 credits. It's really crazy. Two of my classes are lower level general classes, which I thought would make it easier. They are way harder than my upper-division credits, though, simply because of the workload. I feel like I'm drowning. I only have four more weeks and then I'll be done with this semester. I know it'll get easier (at least at first) then. I'll also have a week break then, which will be nice since it's my first week-long break since Christmas. I can't wait until December when I'm done with school for forever!
Thursday, July 3, 2014
Benjamin is ...
My best friend.
My dance partner.
My sweetheart.
My partner.
My biggest supporter.
My motivator.
My love.
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Tithing blessings
When we first got married, Ben was working full time at Wells Fargo and we had about three thousand (after our wedding and honeymoon) saved. Then summer ended and we both started school. Working banker hours and going to school wasn't really a plausible option, so Ben took the opportunity to start getting some computer science experience. It was hard financially, because he not only was making less per hour, but went from full time to part time as well.
I don't really know how we've made it this year. Doing taxes, I was amazed at how we've always been able to pay for everything we've needed even with how little we'd made since we'd gotten married. But we have.
There were so many times when we saw out tithing blessings at work. For example, this week we had both Ben's and my school payments due, totaling about $850. We had no idea how we were going to pay it. Then we get the email telling Ben that his payment is due, but the email said we only owed twenty dollars (instead of 520). When I went online to try and figure out why, turns out Ben got a summer stipend that we hadn't known about. Because of that, we were able to sell Ben's iPad and make the payment while still having enough for rent and gas and everything. It was a HUGE blessing.
This happens to us all the time though. We won't know how we're going to pay for school or rent or something and then somehow, we always make it. We get Ben's paycheck a week early, or get my dance check, or unexpected money shows up. I have never had a hard time with paying tithing and neither has Ben, but this past year has really strengthened my testimony of both the importance of tithing and God's love for us.
Right now we're really excited because Benjamin just got a job he was really hoping to get. Their job interview process was very extensive, so we've been waiting for awhile to hear back on it. It is a really good position, though. He's now going back to full time, making more than he was when he was at Wells Fargo, and he's going to receive benefits (which will be nice when he turns 26 and we have to get him his own health insurance). Besides that, though, it's with a company that we both really like so far and the position is one that he's really going to enjoy and grow in. Ben says that he can see himself staying here for the rest of his career. It's worked out perfectly.
Just some more tithing blessings, probably.
I don't really know how we've made it this year. Doing taxes, I was amazed at how we've always been able to pay for everything we've needed even with how little we'd made since we'd gotten married. But we have.
There were so many times when we saw out tithing blessings at work. For example, this week we had both Ben's and my school payments due, totaling about $850. We had no idea how we were going to pay it. Then we get the email telling Ben that his payment is due, but the email said we only owed twenty dollars (instead of 520). When I went online to try and figure out why, turns out Ben got a summer stipend that we hadn't known about. Because of that, we were able to sell Ben's iPad and make the payment while still having enough for rent and gas and everything. It was a HUGE blessing.
This happens to us all the time though. We won't know how we're going to pay for school or rent or something and then somehow, we always make it. We get Ben's paycheck a week early, or get my dance check, or unexpected money shows up. I have never had a hard time with paying tithing and neither has Ben, but this past year has really strengthened my testimony of both the importance of tithing and God's love for us.
Right now we're really excited because Benjamin just got a job he was really hoping to get. Their job interview process was very extensive, so we've been waiting for awhile to hear back on it. It is a really good position, though. He's now going back to full time, making more than he was when he was at Wells Fargo, and he's going to receive benefits (which will be nice when he turns 26 and we have to get him his own health insurance). Besides that, though, it's with a company that we both really like so far and the position is one that he's really going to enjoy and grow in. Ben says that he can see himself staying here for the rest of his career. It's worked out perfectly.
Just some more tithing blessings, probably.
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