My Biggest Hero ... My Mom

This post is loooooong overdue. It's the one about my biggest hero ... My mom.

I know everyone says this about their own mother, but I honestly think that when I say it about mine, it's true. My mom is the best in the world. I owe her my life, in more than simply her giving birth to me. Every day of my life, she taught me what kind of woman I needed to be, even when perhaps neither of us knew it.

As many of you know, my mom is a single mom. She raised three kids on her own, while working full time. Hard? Uh, yeah. It was not easy for her to find time to do everything she wanted, much less the energy. There were years when, in addition to everything she was doing, she also went back to school to get her Master's degree. However, the fact that it was such a hard situation is one of the reasons she has become such a hero to me. Being a single mom wasn't (and I'm sure, still isn't) the easiest thing, but during the course of my lifetime, she sure did teach me a lot by example

She taught me the importance of homemaking. This may seem like a silly, rather unimportant thing, but it's not. I watched my whole life as my mom made sure, even when our circumstances were hard, that the place we were living was comfortable and beautiful. She took nothing, literally nothing, and always transformed it into something amazing. She worked hard to get a better degree so that she could save up enough to buy a house and now, looking around our beautiful home, you would never guess what it looked like ten years ago. Our environment is really important to the way we act and feel and so my mom made sure that our family's environment was the best it could be.

She taught me the importance of plain old being a mother. To her, being a mom always came first. Even in choosing a job, she looked at how it would affect the time she spent with her kids. I still remember in elementary school, there was an assembly for reflections or something where I would be getting an award. I wanted my mom to be there so badly, but she had to work. Somehow, though, she made it there. I will never forget how happy I was when I went up to get my award and I saw my mom, standing there in the back. That's how it's always been--it doesn't matter what else is going on in her life, she makes sure to stay a mom first and foremost.

She taught me the importance of education. She got her degree, even after she was married, and then went on to get a Master's. And she's a teacher. I grew up knowing that education was important, even when I may not have worked my hardest on my homework. Ahem. She was patient with me, though, and always encouraged me.

She taught me not to settle for less when it comes to dating. She's had quite a few opportunities to do so. I know it's hard for her, being alone. She has us kids, of course, and a whole load of other people who love her. But sometimes, I know she gets lonely and it breaks my heart. I pray everyday for her to find someone who can make her happy forever. In the meantime, though, there are a lot of weirdo's to sort through. She taught me that when it comes to forever, yes, you can and should be picky.

Perhaps one of the most important things she taught me was the importance of the Gospel. I feel just like the stripling warriors at times, never doubting that my mother has testimony. There really was never a time in my life when I had to stop and think, does she believe the Gospel is true? It was obvious she did, and she did her very best to make sure her kids came to that same knowledge. Our home has always been filled with the things of the Gospel and the Spirit. She taught me that we need to do the little things to stay strong in your testimony. We never left the house without family prayer in the morning, even if it was said in the car. We never missed church, even when one of us was sick. She had to stay home with the ill child, of course, but the other two kids were sent with my grandparents until we were old enough to go by ourselves. Even things as small as watching General Conference on Saturday as well as Sunday or staying in our church clothes all day, helped show me how strong my mom's testimony is.

My favorite thing she taught me over the years is how much she loves me. My mom loves me. I love knowing that, especially while I'm away at college. She has always been there for me, even when I push her away. She lets me know when she's proud of me. She supports me in everything I do in life. She brags about me (which is a little embarrassing, but it's fine). She makes sure I don't starve at college. She talks to me about everything, from serious to silly things. She is the perfect best friend.

I love my mom.

Remember David Won

I have had a lot on my mind lately. My life is going really well right now, but I feel like I need to better as a person. I have so much to work on that sometimes, it gets a little overwhelming. It's easy to see your own imperfections. This is something that I've always struggled with; I think most girls do. There's so many roles girls are supposed to fill in this society, it's impossible to do it all perfectly. A lot of times, I feel stretched thin and yet, at the same time, I know that I'm not doing nearly enough.

This weekend was really good for me. I was talking with one of my friends about a lot of stuff and it helped me really take a look at my life. I am doing alright, don't get me wrong, but it motivated me to start looking a lot more at what I can do to be a better person. I haven't really felt motivated for a long time, since Jeremy left actually. Even doing homework has been hard for me this semester. But this weekend helped. Also, church was a wonderful ending to my re-motivation. I know it's a little late for new year's resolutions, but that's kind of what these are. This is what I really am going to improve on this year.

I need to serve more. This is the biggest thing I'm focusing on in my life right now and it has been for a while. The last few months, I feel like every lesson I have is telling me to serve more, to look for ways to make other people's lives better rather than focusing on myself. It's hard. This weekend, I was able to set more concrete goals regarding service. I think that will help.

I need to ponder. My life isn't as hectic as it was in high school, but I waste so much time on Facebook and the internet and things. If I'm not wasting my time, I'm thinking about things, such as homework or dance. I decided today that I need to turn off my music sometimes when I'm driving to and from dance, to give myself quiet time. Also, I am going to ponder more with my prayers and scripture study. That's something I definitely can do better with.

I need to work harder on my talents. I haven't done a terrible job so far, but there's so much more I could have done. I've had time that I've simply wasted. Every once in a while, it's okay to relax and play, but I need to keep to my daily schedule more so that I can improve on things, especially dance and writing. I need to practice dance and write everyday, no excuses. I feel like I could do so much more with my writing, especially to help others. This goes back to my first goal. I want to help others and if I can do that through writing, then I should. I can't be lazy anymore.

I need to be better with studying my scriptures. This one is also another thing I've always struggled with. It got a lot better during high school, but I don't spend nearly enough time with scriptures. I think I need to set a time during the day, instead of simply saying I will read a chapter a day. I also need to connect pondering with this one, as well as have a journal to take notes in as I study.

I know I might not be able to do this all right away. In fact, I'm expecting that I won't. But I am going to try anyways. I really want to become a better person, because I know that I can and should be that kind of person. And I know that the Lord will help me get there. He's so patient; I think that's one of my favorite parts of the gospel.

In Relief Society, they ended with a quote I really liked. They were talking about how in our lives, sometimes our troubles feel huge, and we can feel like David as he fought Goliath. But, they concluded, remember David won.

Remember, David won.

Bye BYU ..

Well. I don't think I ever wrote about this on here. I have decided to NOT go to BYU. I know. I know. I really know.

Today, I got an email from them, informing me that my application is incomplete. That's nice of them. Unless you're like me and then it's not. It's terrible to see. But it's fine.

Here's the thing. The only reason I was planning on going to BYU was for their dance team. Everything else, just doesn't work. It's expensive. I'd have to pay for housing. It would be hard to have a job, what with dance. It would be hard to teach dance still and I probably wouldn't have time to keep dancing with my class. If it's still even around next year. It's hard to get accepted and they do not even do transfer scholarships. And ... it's just a dance team. Mostly.

If I go to the U, then I won't have to pay for housing. I can keep whatever job I get in the summer and have time for that job. I won't have to worry about food or toilet paper or anything. I'll actually eat. That'll be nice. I'm kidding. But, they do do transfer scholarships, so we'll see with that. I'll be a lot closer to dance, which saves me a lot of gas money. I won't hardly have to drive because I can take Trax. Also, the U has a really good social work program, which is what I want to go into. It's seems smarter to go to a college for your major than for a hobby.

It's a good decision. Still a hard one. But the right one.

Bored with my Blog

I have not been very good lately at posting on my blogs. I have to admit, I haven't really been into it lately. I'm slightly bored with them. BUT, it's fine. I'll keep posting. Probably. At least on my dating blog. Well. Here's basically my life right now.

I miss Jeremy. A lot. It's fine. I get to write to him, at least.

I am now dating a really amazing guy. That's nice.

I'm so lazy right now. Maybe that's why I've been so bad with my blog. Tomorrow, I'm really going to work on homework for forever and clean the bathroom for cleaning check and practice dance. And, hopefully, get out of this lazy rut. Want to hear how lazy I am? Popcorn for dinner because I don't even want to make any dinner. Yep. It's fine.

I love my classes so far. Especially Psychology and my social dance classes. They're awesome.

Deseret Book is going to publish my date ideas book digitally. I'm pretty excited about that.

I still love dance and my family and Makayla.

Yep. That's my life right now.

Sometimes I Feel Like a Nerd

It's true. Sometimes. I mean, I'm not a terrible nerd. I don't love math, much to the chagrin of my mother. I hardly ever play video games. I am not a fan of most science fiction. I do wear glasses, but usually I wear contacts instead, so it's fine. However, sometimes, I really am a nerd.

I mean, the most exciting thing that happened to me over Christmas break was finishing a book series. Mind you, they were really good. But still. Nerdy. I've always been a reader, before I even learned how to read. And yes, I admit, that is nerdy.

And Doctor Who? I am a little obsessed. I blame my family for that. You should have seen our Christmas. Nerdiest Christmas EVER. More than every other present opened had to do with Doctor Who. I don't know why I even like the show, since I hate science fiction. It's just so ... good, I can't help it. If you've never seen it, watch it. You will soon be hooked. And then, you'll become a nerd too.

The point of this post is actually to tell you that I'm excited for school to be starting again. Which is slightly nerdy. But, as I've pointed out, I'm already a little bit of that, so it's fine. I've only had two of my classes so far, but I can already tell they're going to be fun. And I'm excited for tomorrow, because I get to start my two dance classes, psychology, and institute. The only problem is I also have to start Biology. I do NOT enjoy science. I guess that's one point in favor of me not being a nerd. What do ya know?