I WENT TO DANCE. And other stuff that makes me the luckiest girl in the world. No contest.

It's late and I need to go to bed so that I can get up for biology tomorrow, but my day was so wonderful that I have to share it with you or I might just burst.

Well. You know how you make a commitment at church or a fireside and then all the sudden after that, it's suddenly harder to keep it. Like, Satan wants you to fail? I thought that since yesterday I decided to be very happy with life and more positive that today would be a hard day. You know? Well. I was dead wrong. Today was the best day I have had in a long time.

It started out normal. I woke up, I went to class, studied for my tests tomorrow, and got a lot done. It felt good. When I came home, I had an email from Jeremy waiting for me. I love emails from Jeremy. Always love. Then I drove home. Always love home also.

When I got there, one of my best friends in the world, Christian Kerr, came over. He's in Utah right now because on Wednesday he goes to the MTC. That's so crazy to me! I'm so excited for him, and also proud. He's going to be such a great missionary. I loved getting to talk to him and see him before he left. It was great of him to take time out of his super busy-getting-ready-to-go-on-a-mission schedule to come visit for a while.

After he left, I went over to my grandparent's house for a family dinner because they just got home from Hawaii. This was the first family party we've had since Jeremy left. I love my family; there is no where I would rather be than surrounded by them at my grandparent's house. I left close to tears, that's how grateful I felt. I wish there was a way to explain the feeling that I have at family parties; if there's anything on earth that feels like heaven, that feeling would be it.

I went straight to dance, leaving the party early and getting to dance late. Let me repeat that. I WENT TO DANCE. At dance, I laughed my guts out, danced until I couldn't breath, and ate so much pie that I felt sick. My dance class is the best thing that ever happened in my life. I love our inside jokes, our love of pie, and the moments that we can't stop dancing long enough to dance anymore. Today was one of those days at dance. Those days at dance include Kathleen being on one and gaining more fat than I lost after two hours of dancing. How, you ask? Pie. Always love pie.

Changing Yourself

Yesterday, I was sitting in the temple, feeling a little bit sad about some things. Don't get me wrong, my life is great, especially now that I get to dance again (plus I got Jeremy's first letter to me from Finland!). The only problem is that I am tired of waiting for things. I thought that once college started, I wouldn't have to anymore. Wrong.

Well, as I was sitting in the temple, it was busy and so I opened the scriptures while I was waiting. I was semi-randomly flipping through D&C, looking at the scripture mastery. While doing that, I ran across the scripture D&C 64:32-34. It was exactly what I needed right then.

That, combined with our lesson in relief society today showed me that I have a lot to work on in my life, especially with looking at how I can serve others and with being more positive. There's something good in everything and I need to find it. I decided I am not going to complain about things anymore, only look at what is good about a situation. It's going to be hard, changing yourself always is. But I can do it, eventually.

I just have to keep trying when I mess up.

The blessing of sore legs

Well, the past four weeks have been hard, but life is wonderful again. I can dance and that really makes all the difference.

It amazes me how I can literally feel the difference, between dancing and not. My body feels it. Having to take a break was a very good (if difficult) reminder of a couple of things that I needed reminding of in my life.

First, it reminded to be grateful for dance. Always. Words cannot express how thankful I am to my Heavenly Father for my ability and opportunity to dance. There's something about dancing that makes everything else in my life seem better, even the things that are frustrating or hard. It's so much easier for me to face life when I can take a part of my day and spend it dancing. I love the feeling I get, both when dancing and when I finish practicing. There is no feeling in the world that compares to the one you get in the air, leaping. And there is no way to replicate the satisfied, just-good-in-general sensation to comes with finishing a hard dance practice. I am especially grateful for it now, having not been able to enjoy it for that short time.

Secondly, my break from dance reminded me that while there are important things in my life (such as dance) that I can spend my time on and be grateful for, I shouldn't ever shift my focus to those things away from the Gospel. It sounds a little silly, but I really needed that reminder. It really was hard for me not to be able to dance, especially being at the studio anyways so often. It was just a small trial, but to me, it didn't feel small. We learn the most and grow closest to the Lord, though, when times are toughest. And this experience was no exception.

Thirdly, it was a reminder that I need to work harder on my dance and especially be a more responsible teacher. It was hard, when I wasn't able to dance, to stay motivated with my other responsibilities as a dancer. Now that I can dance again, though, I am definitely feeling that motivation stronger, and I want to be better, both at dancing and at being involved in my dance group.

I am so glad to be able to dance again. I have never been more grateful for sore legs.

Good News!

My toe is better! I went to the doctor yesterday and he said I can finally dance on it again! I'm really excited. This is the best news I've had all year, basically.

Also, it snowed. And I didn't die driving in the snow. That was a huge blessing.

I didn't have class this morning, so I got to sleep in. That was really nice.

I just am happy right now with my life. Things are going really well and I feel like I am becoming a better person, a little at a time. I know that the Lord is looking out for me and I feel so blessed to have Him there.

Good news. I am so blessed.

Blessed

I really like this quote. These past few weeks have been really hard for me. I've been missing a lot of things and people, which makes me ... not the happiest person. This week Jeremy left to Finland. I know it shouldn't matter, but just thinking that he's in Finland now makes me miss him a lot. It doesn't help that Ben is so far away and I miss him like crazy. And that I can't dance right now. That's basically killing me. I can literally feel the difference not being able to dance has on my life. I've gone longer (like when I had my stress fracture) but it was summer then and I didn't have to be at the studio three times a week. I also didn't appreciate dance as much back then. This is a good reminder to always be grateful for dance. I also have been missing being at home lately. I don't know why, maybe because of the other things in my life right now.

But I've been thinking about it a lot, because I want to be happy with my life. I know that I'm one of the luckiest girls in the entire world. My life is about as perfect as it could be. My emotions just don't always remember that. This quote has helped with that a lot. This time last year, I would have given anything to be out of high school, with Ben, in college, and teaching dance. This is exactly how I wanted things to be. I need to remember that my Heavenly Father has blessed me with so many wonderful things. Because he truly has.

Some things that I am grateful for today ...

Warm weather.

Getting to talk to Jeremy for a couple of minutes on Monday. Best blessing ever.

Getting to see Ben on Wednesday.

My mom's banana bread.

Pictures and memories.

Dance. I have never been more grateful for dance in my life than I am right now.

Dishes that are done.

Potatoes.

That I have things to look forward to.

Funny TV shows.

My family and home. And being able to go there so often.

College. I really do like it, a lot.

Showers.

The Gospel. I feel so lucky to have a testimony of my Heavenly Father's love for me and so blessed to be able to know that no matter what else is going on in my life, He will be there for me and take care of me, because He loves me and knows what's best for me. There's something comforting in the knowledge that someone who loves you is looking out for you, especially when times get hard.

I know that my 'trials' right now aren't as bad as pretty much everyone around me. Even though I feel like they're hard, I know that I'm blessed and loved and that I have a lot to be grateful for.