Well, Jeremy's really leaving ..

I know I already did an entire post on Jeremy on my dating blog, but him leaving is really such a huge thing to me that this blog needs something on it about him too. Basically.

This song here is nice for me right now. I really am liking it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7uoC-YTQy8

Also, this song is my favorite song of all time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABgnivE-caU

It's great because it's so true for me, always in my life. It reminds me of all the people God has put in my life to get me through. I am literally surrounded by people who save my life everyday. This song is really hitting a nerve with me right now; I can't even listen to it without bawling, because it reminds me so much of Jeremy. Every word of it is true. Jeremy makes them true.

I especially like when it says "You always say something without even knowing that I'm hanging onto your words with all of my might and it's alright, yeah I'm alright, for one more night," because that's so true with Jeremy. Every time something goes wrong, I talk to Jeremy and he makes it fine. Even if we're not talking about what's wrong or if he doesn't even know somethings wrong, whatever we talk about makes it better, somehow. He is so good at making things right in my life and cheering me up.

I guess that's why we're best friends. Because he saves my life everyday.

SMILE

I just want to let you all know that my life isn't terrible. So, to make up for my last post of complaints, here's some wonderful things in my life that make me smile.

My cousin Makayla's hugs.

Christmas.

Music.

Finishing finals. And surviving my first semester of college.

Being home.

Sweaters.

Going to Ogden.

Best friends.

My family.

Nuts and cheesecake.

Pictures.

Jeremy Troff. Always.

Inside jokes.

And a lot more. Today is the kind of day that makes me really feel grateful for what I have.

Some days ...

I have a cold.

I failed my cleaning check. I know how to clean. I'm very upset.

It's finals week and I'm stressed.

It's so cold, always.

I don't know what I'm going to do with my life.

My best friend is leaving. SOON.

I just want to go home, but I have to get stuff done here for class and now I have to make sure the bathroom is clean for the recheck and I just .. want to go home.

Today is just not my day. Sorry to complain.

Families Can Be Together Forever

I love my family. I always will and am so grateful that I get to be with them forever. There can't be a better thought than that. I don't ever want to do anything that would part me from them.

I have such a wonderful family. They do so much for me.

My mom believes in me.

Jon talks with me.

Eric looks out for me.

Alison listens to me.

My grandma counsels me.

My grandpa shows he loves me.

My aunts and uncles let me into their homes.

My cousins are my best friends. In so many ways.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0J-_f4oRuWI&feature=results_main&playnext=1&list=PLE835BB70DD66A8FC

"I have a family here on earth, they are so good to me. I want to share my life with them through all eternity ... I always want to be with my own family, and the Lord has shown me how I can."

Adventure for Christmas Please

I have now successfully avoided my homework all afternoon long by getting a lot done. And it actually feels pretty good. I mean, homework? Really?

Honestly, I don't have that much. I have reading to do, but I've stayed on top of things pretty well lately. And it felt really good to get all the things done that I did today.

I'm glad the semester is almost over. I'm tired of doing homework. I'm ready to be at home for a while. I can't wait to see some friends. And to sleep in a few times.

But mostly, I want an adventure. Badly.

I'm craving it.

I don't know what kind of adventure. I just know I need one. Soon.

That's what I want for Christmas. Please.

Food ...

I feel like I could LIVE off of

Yogurt

Carrot sticks

Potatoes

Cereal

and brownies.

Oh wait.

I basically do.

Thanksgiving Post ... A Week Early.

In the spirit of thanksgiving being next week, I want to let the world know how grateful I am for my life. Sometimes, it's hard to remember to keep that spirit of gratitude with me, but I'm learning.

I really am grateful for everything in my life, including my room (in my house), my tie quilt, music, the internet, food (particularly brownies and Yogurtland), books, scriptures, the Gospel, temples, clean clothes, a bed, dance, shoes, cute jackets and boots, snow, driving at night, and rain.

However, as much as I love all of those things, I feel like the reason I am as blessed as I am is because of the people in my life, not the things.

I am grateful for my mom. She is the best mom a girl could ask for. She understands me in a way no one else does; she knows when I need the extra push to get things done, but she also knows when all I need is a little encouragement. She makes me want to make her proud and that is the biggest motivation. I love her and I know she loves me; that's one of my favorite things to know, here at college.

I am grateful for Jon. He doesn't even know what his example and friendship means to me. If you've ever met him, you know why I would look up to him so much. He has such a happy outlook on life, even though he struggles with a lot of things. He never gives up on life or on people. He's so patient; even when he doesn't want to talk to someone, he will, because he knows it will mean something to them. He shows me everyday what Christ-like love is. He's my best friend and I love him.

I am grateful for Eric and Alison. Eric has always been there for me. For as long as I can remember, he's looked out for me. It meant the world to me when I was younger that he would include me with friends and when he wrote me on his mission. Every single one of his letters, it seemed, answered a prayer or helped me with a problem in my life. Him marrying Alison was such a great thing; she is such a great sister for me, exactly what I always wanted when I was younger. She does 'sister things' with me all the time and did even before she and Eric were married. I love them both and am so grateful that they are so close right now.

I am grateful for the times we can all be together, especially for dinner. It's not only nice to see everyone, but there's an extra special feeling in the home when everyone is together. And I like it a lot.

I am grateful for my extended family, every single member of it. I am grateful I get to see them as often as I do, for our family parties. There's something special about them. I love the advice and laughter and games and love we share.

I am grateful for my friends. I am so glad I have best friends with whom I can laugh and play. Itzel is the best friend to talk with; she tells the funniest stories and I simply feel at ease with her. It's easy to let go and laugh when I'm around her. She came into my life at just the right moment, my own personal miracle, and has stayed ever since, making my life better in a thousand different ways.

Katelyn is basically one of the best things that ever happened in my life. Meeting her and us becoming friends was not chance. I know the Lord put us in each other's lives for a reason and I am so grateful for everything she's done for me. It makes me think of Thanksgiving last year. We were in the same seminary class and we did an activity where every person in the class stood up to tell about one person they were grateful for. Katelyn and I talked about each other; I remember I couldn't even really talk, that's how hard I was crying. Katelyn did much better. I will never forget the feeling of love we shared at that moment.

I am so grateful for my cousin Jeremy. If we weren't cousins, we probably wouldn't have been friends in the first place. I would hate that; I can't even imagine my life without him. He is everything a best friend should be. He confides in me and I in him, we talk over all our hard and happy times, share laughs, act silly together, go to activities with each other, and annoy each other like no one else can. I am so proud of him, too, for going on a mission. His testimony is an example to me and I know he'll do so great serving the Lord. I'll miss him, because he's my best friend, but we'll still talk and it'll be wonderful. I love him so much and am so grateful the Lord made us cousins so that we could become best friends.

I am grateful for one of my newer best friends Ben. He is my hero, a lot like Jon. He is so patient with people also and just accepts them as they are. His whole attitude towards life makes me want to be better. He is such a great friend; he makes me smile every day and goes out of his way to make my life better. My life is so much happier because of him and I don't know if he even realizes it. I am so grateful to have him in my life, though.

Lastly, I am so grateful for the Lord. As you can tell from this post, He blesses me so much more than I deserve. He's always there for me, ready to hear my complaints and my thanks and waiting to bless me more. One of my favorite parts of the Gospel is knowing that the Lord loves. I do know he does and it's such a sweet thought to me; sometimes, it's the only thing that gets me through. I love him too and am so grateful for the opportunities I have to show him how much.

Glitter in the Air Moments

Sometimes life hands a person moments that are tangibly happy. Indescribable. Unforgettable.

Perfect.

My Grudge Against Texting

Texting is .. not my favorite. Except with certain people. I won't deny it's convenient and I will admit I've gotten many texts that have made me smile or even laugh to myself.

Most of the time, though, it's just annoying.

Here's what I have against texting ...

1. Most people are annoying texters. Especially one word answers like haha.

2. Guys should not use lol a ton. And they do. And that bothers me.

3. If you want to explain something or tell a story, you can't. At least not fully. Or it turns into a ten texts instead of one.

4. Sarcasm doesn't work.

5. Enthusiasm seems overdone a lot of the time, but if you were talking to them in person, it probably wouldn't.

6. I always forget to answer people back. And then I seem rude.

7. People use their phones way too much, at times when it simply isn't appropriate. Is it really that hard to go for ten minutes without texting? Apparently for some it is.

8. Sometimes, in a conversation, it's better to say nothing. While texting, that's impossible.

9. People don't sound like themselves. It irks me.

10. Texting simply isn't as good as just hanging out with someone. And that's a fact.

Beautiful Heartbreak and What Faith Can Do

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyX-I-um5Kk

I know I already posted this song, but right now, it's hitting a cord with me. It's got me thinking a lot about how much the Lord has blessed me with hardships. Here's a few mountains that popped up in my life; I wished with all my heart to make them disappear at the time. Now, looking back, I thank my Heavenly Father with tears of gratitude in my eyes for allowing them to be there, because now I can see the blessings.

1. My dance teacher Mindie.

When I was growing up, I stayed with the same dance teacher. Pretty much always. When I switched over to Irish, I got her sister as my teacher and I loved her. She continued to be my dance teacher until I was in eighth grade. We took the summer off after Celtic Celebration and came back to find that Leia wasn't our teacher anymore. At first, we didn't believe it; I remember walking out for a drink break with one of my friends and being so upset.

That next year at dance was hard; it was still fun, but I found myself having to work harder than I ever have in my life. It was so hard, at first that I thought about quitting. A transition like that is always hard for me and as a class, we didn't like Mindie because we weren't used to her and her methods. She was very strict on a lot of things and a little intimidating. Luckily, my mom knew better than I did and my dancing continued.

When Celtic Celebration rolled around, our entire class was blown away by how much better we'd gotten during the year. We all individually looked much better, but more than that, we were so much more together as a class. And of course we knew it was all thanks to Mindie.

Mindie continued as our teacher for many years after that. As time went on, I truly grew to love her. When she stopped teaching, I was so upset; I cried. It's funny to think that when she first started teaching us, I was upset that she was our teacher, but then when she left, I was even more upset.

She pushed me so hard to become better and taught me more than I probably even realize. I am the kind of dancer and teacher I am today because of her and I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world. Good thing the Lord knew what I needed at the time, more than I did.

2. Not having a father growing up. Of course there were hard times and things that came from this. I don't really remember the things that happened when I was younger at all, which is a big blessing. There are some little things that I have to deal with, but for the most part, I'm not too effected individually. The hardest part of it most of the time is watching how hard it is for my mom. I hate that she has to be on her own right now and that she has to stress over things that she shouldn't have to be stressed over. If I had one wish right now, I'd use it to make everything perfect in her life right now. It's hard sometimes for me to look at my mom and forgive my father for leaving her to deal with things on her own. She's such an amazing woman; she took practically nothing and created an amazing life for me and my brothers. I look around our house everyday that I'm there and it reminds me how grateful for and in awe of my mom I need to be. It makes me so upset, especially when my mom shows how hard a time she's having, that a guy could treat her that way.

Despite how hard it is, though, I look at the blessings in our family and see how much the Lord loves me. We are close in ways that we might never have been if things had just been fine in our family. My mom has had to lean on us and we have had to lean on her for so many things that have brought us together. It's the same thing with our immediate family, especially my grandparents. Because we've had to rely on them for things that otherwise would have been taken care of, I will never have a moment in my life when I don't feel grateful or loved.

There are a lot of things that I won't ever take for granted, either, because of the situation. I love blessings from my grandpa so very much. I would never even consider marrying someone who couldn't bring the priesthood to our home. I know what an effect that can have on the home and am so proud of both my brothers for being worthy of holding the priesthood themselves.

I love my family so much. I know some of the reason we're all so close as a family is because of the hard times we've gone through together and because of that, I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. How lucky am I, that I get to be with my family for eternity?

3. My car wreck. Things are still coming up from this that frustrate me, all these months later. I just keep reminding myself of the blessing my grandpa gave me after the actual wreck. He promised that even though this was a hard trial for me, I would see blessings later on from it. I already have. I got to spend time in the car with my mom right before coming to college; she even came with me when I went to talk to a youth group, something that I was really nervous for. If I'd had my car, I probably would have just driven myself over. However, my mom had to and I was so glad she was there. I got to walk home from work with my brother, which turned out to be so much better for us than just driving home together. I will never forget those memories with him.

The biggest thing, though, is that I was able to learn how much the Lord looks out for us. I've seen so many miracles and so many people have helped us since the accident and that in and of itself is a wondrous blessing to me. I know that I'm taken care of, no matter what happens.

4. My grandma Pat passing away. This was a really tough thing for my entire family. I was just young when she passed away and don't remember her too well. But I do remember her and am so grateful for that.

I miss my grandma, but I'm so grateful also for my grandma Sue. She does so much to help our family. She always knows what to say and how to help each of us. She understands what we're all going through and is such an example with her testimony to me. I want to be just like her when I grow up. Even though I miss my grandma Pat more than I could say, I love my grandma Sue just as much.

And I know that even though my grandma Pat has passed on, she's here, watching over me. Maybe that sounds cheesy to say, but I know with all my heart that it's true. It makes me cry thinking how much I love her and I can't wait to see her again.

5. Not getting into BYU. The other things I've mentioned seem bigger, but for some reason, this was one of the harder things for me in my life. Probably because it's the most recent. I really wanted to go to BYU, to be on their folk dancing team. I've never wanted anything more in my life. When I found out I didn't make it in, I was crushed. I didn't mope about it or anything, but it was tough. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to achieve my biggest dream. Of course I planned on transferring, but it wasn't easy knowing my goal was that much farther away.

Coming to UVU, though, has been such a good thing for me. I like my roommates, I'm glad my class sizes are small, and I like that UVU is less expensive than BYU. I get to go home a lot more often than I would if I were at BYU, I'm closer to home, and I get to keep dancing with my dance group. That is the best thing in the world to me. I love my dance class so much; sometimes, they're the only thing that gets me through the week. I also love teaching dance, so much. It's an opportunity I would have sat out on if I was on BYU's folk dancing team; just the thought of that makes me sad.

Not making it this year has also given me great motivation to study and do well in school. If I was at BYU this year, I'm not sure how diligent with my studies I'd be. Now, however, I've been able to establish the pattern of studying hard and I think it'll do me a lot of good throughout college.

I will make it to the folk dance team eventually. I'm hoping next year. But now, when I do make it, I'll value it that much more. And I'll know it's where I'm supposed to be, because the Lord wouldn't lead me somewhere else. That much I've learned.

Also, here's another of my favorite of my songs.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1JBSQMkQEo&ob=av2e

It goes well with this post as well. I love the words so much.

"I've seen dreams that move the mountains

Hope that doesn't ever end

Even when the sky is falling

I've seen miracles just happen

Silent prayers get answered

Broken hearts become brand new

That’s what faith can do."

Moments I want to hold inside me forever ...

At dance, laughing so hard we can't keep dancing, so we all fall to the ground.

Riding in the car, just talking to my mom.

My grandpa's bear hugs.

My friend laughing loudly every time we're welcomed to physical science.

Sitting next to my brother in the temple.

Driving at night.

Wrapped up in a blanket, reading, when it's rainy and cold outside.

Makayla trying to kiss my nose and missing.

The words I miss you.

Forgetting myself in the movement as I swing dance with my cousin.

Praying and and knowing He's listening.

Christmas time.

That happy warm feeling that seems to follow you around.

Some thoughts in my head

College is frying my brain. Don't believe me? Just spend five minutes with me and you'll see what I mean. I keep forgetting everything. When I go home, I leave everything in Orem. When I'm in Orem, I leave everything at home. I also keep panicking about being late, when I'm not really late. This needs to stop. But I did well on my midterms and so maybe I'm learning something?

Jeremy is leaving. In like two months. I'm not really sure how feel about this. Mostly I just try not to think about it. I am really glad he's going, because it's what he needs to do and what he wants to do and it's all around a fantastic thing. In fact, I can't think of anything better. But at the same time, he's my best friend and he's going to be gone for two years. That's kind of a long time. And I'm going to miss him like crazy. He's the one I go to when I need to talk about anything and he's the one I do practically everything with. I know it'll be fine and blah blah blah, and it is fine. Except when it's not. I think I'll just go back to not thinking about it.

Guys are also my mind. Quite often, actually. Usually this is a good thing. I was actually talking to my roommates about this very thing the other night. We decided that guys made things so much more difficult, but in a good way. I'm not really sure how that works; luckily, I don't need to explain it because you know what I mean. If not, then ... sorry. But guys are, yes, a very good thing.

It really has amazed me lately how one person can make your whole life better, without trying or even knowing they are doing so. This happens to me all the time. I can't tell you how many times I have been having a bad day and my mom or brothers (or both) have cheered me up despite my grouching at them. All the time I'll get on Facebook and Jeremy will be talking with me and say something that cheers me up. This sort of thing happened to me today actually. I was just feeling sort of icky inside today (I don't know if you ever have days like that) and someone texted me and it simply made my day so much better. I love moments like that.

Also, liking someone who likes you back might just be the best feeling in the world. Just saying.

That's what has been on my mind this past weekend. And a while before that. It feels good to get them out. Sometimes, you just gotta write some things out.

A Beautiful Heartbreak

I really like this song. It says exactly right the belief that I am holding onto with all my heart right now: that the Lord knows what he's doing and I just have to trust him.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyX-I-um5Kk

A Happy Stomach

Today I was told I should just write without fretting over every sentence more. That way it is more sincere. So here goes.

Right now, in my life, I am feeling really good. Just happy. And I'm not talking right now as in this moment or today. I've felt like this all week. It's pretty nice. There are a lot of contributing factors here. I mean, A LOT.

For one, I really am beginning to like college. The longer I'm here, the more I like it. Even the studying part. Although, I will say, I do not, really not, enjoy writing papers. Ugh. However, I have done well on all the tests I've taken thus far, which helped considerably with me liking school.

Also, I love dance. My dance class is the best thing to ever happen in my life. Every week, I go to dance and come away feeling on top of the world. We laugh and work hard and laugh more and eat hot tamales and laugh some more. Plus, dancing in general is great, so put the two together and you have a recipe for a happy girl.

Another thing, guys are really cute and that makes me happy. 'Nuff said.

And of course, my family is so amazing. Every time I go home, I realize how lucky I am to have been born into the family I was born into. College is really fun and I like it a lot, but my family is so great that sometimes, I just don't want to leave. Like today. It's nice to have something to miss.

The last thing is the Gospel. The last little while, I've been on a spiritual down. Church just wasn't seeming too interesting and I didn't really feel like going to all the extra meetings and firesides as much. Starting a little over a week ago, though, something changed. I don't know why or how, but I know that I really like it. I am so grateful to be a part of God's work and to know and feel of His love. It sounds cheesy, but it's true. Knowing that I am His daughter and that He loves me helps me more in my life than anything else. It gives me not only happiness, but peace and strength.

That's the kind of happiness I am feeling right now. The kind that you feel deep in your stomach. The kind that lasts, forever.

Just me

Here are just some thoughts. I'm not trying for attention or compliments here. Just don't worry about it. It's one of those things that I've been thinking a lot about lately, so I thought I'd write about it; that always seems to help.

What I'm insecure about myself

1. My teeth. I don't think they're white enough, the bottom teeth aren't as straight as they could be (both are my fault), and they're too big.

2. My arms. They're just awkward. Also, my hands.

3. When I leave my hair curly, I feel like it's too messy and frizzy. Just a thought.

4. When I'm sitting down in pants, my thighs look really big. I'm not really sure why.

5. Sometimes I smile too big. Like, in pictures. It just looks funny.

6. My nose. Ugh.

7. Sometimes I get really shy in a new crowd. It's dumb, but I don't know how to not.

8. When I eat sandwiches. I just feel like it is not my favorite thing to do in public.

9. My singing voice. I always worry that I sound terrible when I sing, especially in church.

10. My posture and the way I sit.

What I like about myself

1. My eye color and long eye lashes. Probably my best feature.

2. Also my hair color.

3. That I can dance. I love that so much.

4. That I look a lot like my Grandma Pat.

5. The shape of my face. I just like it.

6. My cleanliness. Yes.

7. My writing ability. I may not be the best writer out there, but I'm glad I know how.

8. My family and friends. They are such a part of me and I'm so grateful I got good ones!

9. My testimony. I really love that I was born into the gospel.

10. That I'm a daughter of God. That kind of makes everything else better, doesn't it?

My Ignorant Heroes

These are just some people who helped me in some way in my life without even knowing their actions were making a difference to me. :)

1. The random kid I followed through two parking lots to campus the first day of school because I didn't know for sure how to get there from my apartment the short way and he looked like he knew where he was going. Turns out, he did and it was the same place that I needed to be.

2. The lady who drove me to the hospital when I needed stitches so that my mom could sit in the back seat with me.

3. The founder of Yogurtland.

4. The guy and his two sons who pushed my car out of the middle of the intersection after my accident.

5. The guy who baptized my brother and I every time we went to the temple on Thursdays. When he wasn't there, our day wasn't as complete.

6. Everyone who tucked in their chairs after using the computer in Bingham's library so that when I came to clean it, I didn't have to.

7. Every guy who holds open the door for me. It happened today, in fact. Every time, it makes my day.

8. The person on the freeway the other day who let me in when I needed to merge.

9. Brittney Ford, this girl in my dance class a long time ago. She was in high school and I was in seventh grade, but she was still so nice to me. I look back now and think how grateful I am that she was so patient with me, because I know I was more than a little annoying back then, but she was a real friend to me.

10. The laurels in my ward when I was a beehive/miamaid. They were such great examples to me of how a daughter of God should act.

11. My friend Christian. He helped me get through the hardest part of my high school career without even knowing I was having a hard time. Also, he's just a happy person and that makes me happy.

12. Sarah, Tiffany, Kelli, and Olivia. They were my friends at points in my life when I just needed a friend.

13. Mr. Anderson, my fifth grade teacher. He influenced me more than any teacher I've ever had and I bet he doesn't even remember who I am. It's amazing.

There are so many in my life everyday. It's hard to remember, sometimes, to be grateful for people like this, people who smile and make your day better. And it's nice to think that maybe, if we do our best to think of others, we can be this kind of hero to someone else who needs us at that particular moment.

"True Christ-like service is rarely convenient." -anonymous

Not So Straight Hair

So I hate my hair. I am in the mood for it to be straight, but apparently it doesn't feel the same.

On the plus side, life is pretty good right now. School is stressful; I feel like my homework load is significantly increasing. However, I'm actually starting to like my history class at last, so this is a good thing.

Also, I feel like dance is great. And my class. And teaching. Mondays are my favorite, because I get to go to dance. Saturdays are my next favorite, since that's when I teach. And then Wednesdays (although, that's been a bit sporadic thus far) because that's my other class. Then Sundays because I actually get to sleep in and not feel even a little bit guilty about it, which is wonderful. Sleeping in general is wonderful.
This was kind of a random post. I'm just in a weird mood right now. It happens.

Sometimes, science should just die ...

So, I just sat and worked on science pretty much all day. And now my brain is fried and I feel like I don't understand a single thing we've learned since our first test. Needless to say, my feelings are not very nice towards science at the moment.

Don't get me wrong. I love my science class. I have the best friend ever in that class. She makes my week every time I'm with her. Also, my teacher is super funny. Everyday he comes into class and says "Welcome to Physical Science 1000," before starting his lectures. His lectures wouldn't be very interesting except for the fact that he randomly sings songs, picks certain words to say really loud, says sauce pan in an unusual way, and gets very excited about science stuff. He's my favorite; I want to meet his wife.

However, I'm really struggling with interest at this point. The first section, I did great. I was able to understand everything he talked about in class, I worked on the reading and homework everyday, and I actually did really well on the test. It surprised me because I expected science to be my least favorite class when I signed up for it. I'm not a science girl.

Well, now I'm thinking that again. I am so worried because this section seemed really short and we turn in our homework and take our test this next week. I feel terribly unprepared, not because I haven't read or gone to class (since I have), but because I haven't understood it at all. Half the time, I didn't even know what his lecture was supposedly on.

So, we'll see how this goes. Unless science dies first.

Ring Around the Rosie

College is kind of weird experience for me. Because I live so close to my home and because I come back so often for dance and family parties and because my best friend (who I do pretty much everything with) lives in West Jordan, at times it feels like I never actually left home. And yet, I miss them still. I'm not really sure how that works. But it does.

One of the things I miss the very most, though, is my cute little cousin, my best friend. The song Smile describes what she does for me perfectly. The song is known in my family as our 'Makayla song'.

The words "Even when you´re gone, somehow you come along, just like a flower poking through the sidewalk crack and just like that, you steal away the rain and just like that, you make me smile ... " seem especially true to me here at college. Sometimes college is really frustrating and, at times, lonely. Knowing, though, that I have a little girl at home who loves me is the best thing in the whole world and never fails to make me smile.

She is such a happy little girl. I love her running straight to me and giving me a huge hug. She shares her board games (and made up rules) with me and I take her with me to Yogurtland. Every time I'm with her, we end up just laughing together. I always help her get her food at family parties. One of our favorite things to do is take pictures together (I think she just likes pushing the button).

I truly consider her my best friend. We hang out and play, have lots of adventures, and even have inside jokes.

During the summer, we went up to Midway as a family. I was up in my room on my computer, blogging and Facebook stalking people, when Makayla came in. She sat with me for a while on the bed, but I was worried that she was getting bored, so I told her to go play with her brothers downstairs. She told me no, that she just wanted to sit up here with me. It melted my heart.

On Sunday, we had a family party. I went with Makayla and the other little girls downstairs. We played ring around the rosies over and over again and each time, the girls would laugh and laugh every time they fell down. Then would come the "Again! Again!" I played until I was dizzy. It was one of those moments of looking around and realizing how lucky I truly am to have the family that I have. In college, I feel like I appreciate my family more because I don't see them as much, but at the same time, it's easy to forget in the daily busy bustle how grateful I really am to be a part of it.

I love my cousin and will never forget our ring around the rosies moments.

Earning Pain

I find it somewhat appropriate that my first post on here will be about dancing. I am going to talk (or I guess write) about how wonderful pain from dance feels.

A few years ago, there was a girl in my class who would show off her blood blisters every time she got them. I was so jealous. She made it seem like something every dancer needed. Unfortunately, I never got one. I hardly even got blisters, much less made them bleed.

I felt somehow incomplete.

This past weekend, my dance class had an amazing workshop. We were on our toes a lot, way more than our class was used to. And my toes really started to hurt. When I took off my right shoe, I saw blood. On my sock. I started to get really excited. Sure enough, when I stripped away my sock, I found ... A blood blister!! The first of my dancing career.

It took a long while, but it finally came.

Dance does hurt. A lot at times. But it's a good kind of pain. The kind that makes you feel accomplished. The kind that makes you grow. The kind you have to earn.

And that's why I love dance. Because when I dance, I feel pain. And I know I earned it.