Buying a baby ... Why didn't we think of that??

When I told my cousins that I was having a baby, my little cousin Adylinne said, "I want to see the baby," not being old enough to understand how pregnancy and birth work yet. At our family Easter egg hunt tonight, Adylinne came up to me to ask if I had my baby yet. "Nope," I said. "It's only this big." I held up my fingers in a circle about the size of a lemon. I told her that it still had to grow and wouldn't be here until almost Halloween, to which she replied "Wow, that's a long time!" Later, she came up with a brilliant solution to my long wait. "Charly (pronounced Carly), if your baby takes too long to get here," she told me, "you can just buy one." "Oh really? From where?" I asked. "From the baby store." She told me this in a matter-of-fact voice, as if it should have been obvious. "Then what would we do with the baby we already have?" She held up two fingers. "I'd have two babies?? That's a lot." "No it's not," she told me, totally serious. "Two is not very many." "It is when it comes to infants." I don't think I quite convinced Adylinne.

An update on my pregnancy

Well. I am officially past the morning sickness stage. It's really nice. I haven't been sick for a long time. This week I got back to eating healthier (we got rid of our bagels and pizza rolls) and actually making food again (much to Ben's relief).

I have been having some struggle with heartburn, but I've found a really good way to prevent it. I've heard and read a lot about lemon juice helping heartburn, but it's a lot easier to prevent than to cure. I have started trying to drink a glass of lemon water every morning and now the only time I have gotten heartburn has been on days when I didn't drink lemon in the morning.

I also have been struggling with headaches and migraines. I am not really sure what to do about that yet. I got a 74 ounce water bottle from Wal Mart (Melissa, Ben's sister, has one and I'm just following her example) and have been trying to drink one of those every day. It's helped some, but I still get a migraine about once a week.

Other than that, I'm just really excited to be able to get up and do things again. I have gotten really tired and bored of sitting around trying to entertain myself. It's nice to feel busy again. The one thing that really frustrates me is how easily I get tired out. I feel worn out just from making dinner or taking a trip to Wal Mart. The worst is dance. I have to take it a little easy at dance because I'm not supposed to let my temperature raise too high and I get worn out easily. If I do too much at dance, I feel it for the next day or two. That was a lesson I had to learn.

Last week, we heard our baby's heart beat. That was really fun. Now Ben always puts his ear down there to try to hear (but of course he can't without the special tool, he's just so silly).

The rest of life is going well. I have finals this next week and then the semester is over. I'm excited to be starting new classes, especially now that I'm not feeling sick; it will be a lot easier to go to campus for class.

Letters to Ash

I am so excited for my current project--Letters to Ash.

It started off as an idea for a sort of mommy blog. I really love blogging and am so excited to be a mom; I would love to start my own mommy blog, but I want it to have my own personal twist to it; I don't want it to be just another blog in the masses. Ben and I were brainstorming ways that I could do that and came up with Letters to Ash.

We want to name our first daughter Ashton (we want to spell it differently, but we haven't come up with the perfect spelling yet) and nickname her Ash. I heard this name for a girl when I was in high school and fell in love with it. Luckily, Ben loves girl names that can also be boy names and really likes the idea.

We thought for my blog, I could write my thoughts to my future daughter. That would set it apart and make it more my style, as well as make it more personal. I loved the idea and set up the blog, writing post after post without publishing them. I wanted my blog to look great before I let it go public. We had all these ideas for pictures and I loved writing the posts.

One day, while writing more posts, I had the idea that it might be a good book idea. The more I thought about it, the more I excited about the idea I got. But, I thought, I would need to come up with a different name for the book because of my blog.

A few weeks later, Ben and I were out somewhere, talking about projects while we walked. I told him my idea for making it a book and he lit up. He agreed that it was a good book idea and that Letters to Ash was the perfect name for it. With Ben's enthusiasm backing my own, I decided to forgo the blog idea and turn this into a book.

I haven't worked on it a ton the past few weeks, but this last weekend, I was able to put a lot more work into it and it has got me excited all over again.

The book starts the day I found out I was pregnant. It has been kind of my pregnancy journal, in a way, with me putting my thoughts down in the form of a letter. This is nice because I'll always have these things recorded and it makes it easier for me to write from my own personal experience. At some point in the book (I haven't got there yet) I'm going to have to stop this because I want the ending to have a climatic ending (such as the main character losing her baby somehow probably) but I haven't figured that all out yet.

This is such a fun project for me, especially with me being so excited about babies right now.

My life now revolves around pregnancy.

So I basically haven't done a post in, oh, forever. Sorry about that. The reason is mostly that my life since my last post has revolved around my being pregnant and since we hadn't gone public with that little tidbit until this past week, I didn't really feel like I had very much to write. The other reason is that I've been feeling morning sickness HARD and haven't felt like doing anything at all.

But today I woke up and for the first time in almost three months I felt ... not sick at all. Energized. Like I wanted to get up and do STUFF. It was a great feeling.

And so here I am, writing a blog post. It feels great.

I don't have a ton to tell. Besides the whole finding out I was pregnant thing, not tons has happened to me.

I am almost finished with the semester. Thank goodness. It's been really hard to go to class when I was feeling sick. Which was every day. But somehow, thankfully, I am pulling pretty good grades this semester.

I am so excited to be pregnant, but it honestly has been really hard so far. I have felt sick for so long that I am just tired of feeling like that.

I am hungry all the time, but it's hard to find food that doesn't make me feel sick. I will find a food that I really like and I'll like it for three to seven days and then one day, when I go to eat it, it is so gross to me. Sometimes I can't stop thinking about food or see something that looks SO good. Then I try to eat it and I can't finish it.

My last appointment that I went into, I wasn't getting enough calories. That's what Ben and I have focused on since then--getting food into me. Health and price (as much as Ben and I can afford) have gone out the window. As long as I can eat it, we go with it. I get a little embarrassed with my diet. Right now, I love turkey sandwiches with provolone cheese, captain crunch cereal, gogurts, fresh broccoli, and apples. Every week it feels like I have an entirely new diet. Since I've been pregnant, I've also been craving Twinkies, but Ben won't ever let me get one.

I've also had some problem with heartburn (which could be due to the amount of processed food/sugar I eat some days) and sometimes cramps that feel suspiciously like period cramps (which, by the way, I feel is entirely unfair).

Today has gotten me hoping that I am on my way out of this phase of pregnancy. That would be so nice. I was worried, the longer I was sick, that I would feel that way my entire pregnancy. I did not want to struggle to finish school while throwing up every day. It would make sense that now is when I stop feeling sick because I am coming out of my third trimester. I've read that by fourteen weeks, most women no longer feel sick at all.

I am very, very excited to be a mother though, even if I do end up being sick my entire pregnancy. I have already started collecting baby clothes, both in real life on and on Pinterest. Here are some of my favorites.

Thanks for listening to my rants. It's nice to finally be able to complain a little to people besides Benjamin. I do hope you know, despite how hard it's been for me, that I love being pregnant and I cannot wait until our little baby gets here. 

My Latest Inner Conflict

I've been toying around lately with the idea of starting a more serious blog. I love blogging--writing blogs, reading blogs, just the idea of blogs--and I really enjoy having this blog (even if I've been less than faithful to it lately). But this blog is more like my journal.

This supposed blog would lean more towards serious topics, avoiding my life updates and random thoughts. I would want to research and discuss my views on both some of the more debated topics in the news and some of the "hot topics" we discuss in my classes.

I had pretty much decided I was going to do this, but today while I was on Facebook, I came across an article someone shared. The topic was a controversial one and the comments were ... well, they started off friendly but the discussion got heated. The thing that bothered me the most about it though, was how riled up I got just reading through the comments.

I want to do this blog. I think it would be really interesting for me to learn about all the different topics more in depth and it would help force me to keep up to date on the issues that are in our world. I know it would be good practice for my writing and it would help me build a good portfolio to show off my work. It would be a great growing opportunity for me.

However, I guess my brief Facebook experience today rattled me. I don't want to start arguments on my blog and I don't want to hurt feelings. I know it's silly and that you can't please everyone. I have lots of opinions on controversial topics, but I normally stay quiet about them online--especially on Facebook. My new blog wouldn't be all controversy, but I would want to discuss some topics that easily bring out disagreements and heated discussions.

I guess we'll see what happens. Even if I did decide to start this new blog, I'd have to come up with a name for it first.

And that could take ages.

BYU

I remember in high school going to a folk dance performance with my friend from dance, Katelyn. This was before we had found out whether we'd been accepted into BYU or not. We watched it with delight, saying after every dance, "We could do that!" "Did you see how they were moving their feet, we could definitely do that!" We were so excited. 

I went home that night buzzing. I couldn't sleep. I wrote in my journal, in regards to my desire to be on the BYU folk dance team, "I have never wanted anything so badly in my life." 

A few months later, I found out I hadn't made it into BYU. I was crushed for half a moment before my best friend, who was sitting by my side when I opened the rejection email, took my mind off it. Later, when talking with my mom and aunt, I decided that I would attend BYU. I was determined. 

I worked hard my first year at college and got really good grades. After a number of plan changes, I applied again to BYU. I will never forget the feeling I got when I opened the email and read that I had been accepted. 

I started school at BYU in May. I loved BYU, but I hated both my classes. Hated them. I never wanted to go to school. When I started again this fall, I was really excited. I had changed my major and loved every class I was in (except maybe my math class ...) I loved coming to school and doing my homework and studying everything I needed to study. I still enjoy my classes, though I am more than ready for a new semester. 

I tried out for the folk dance team and didn't make it. I thought i would be crushed, but I wasn't. I was a little upset, but I got over it very quickly. I might try out again this next semester, I haven't decided yet. My grandma Pat, who died when I was four, was very close with me. She left behind a written history of her life before she died. I remember reading in it while in high school that she had gone to BYU and tried out for the folk dance team. Like me, she didn't make it. I wanted to make the team for her. 

In her history, my grandma wrote that she would have tried out for the team again, except she met Arno (my grandfather) and her priorities changed. When I read that, I didn't understand it entirely. I do now. I feel that my priorities have changed as well, though in different ways than hers. 

This month, I also applied for a job on BYU campus as a Writing Fellow. I was very excited about it and very much wanted the job. I found out this week I didn't get it. I can also apply next semester again. I probably will. This let down was stronger for me than the folk dance team. 

I have felt a little discouraged since I found out that I didn't get the job. I feel that at BYU I am surrounded by the "best and brightest." It's hard because if I was at UVU still, I would be able to have a full ride scholarship, be on their newspaper, try out and probably make a dance team, get a job on campus, and walk to school every day, not to mention Ben and I would be able to take classes together and what not. It doesn't always feel worth it to be at BYU. 

But then I walk around campus and I know I'm in the right place. I love BYU. I am so excited that I will be able to graduate from BYU, and it's something I want--more than any of that extra stuff that comes with college. 

 

Just an Update

Remember how I said I loved my job? Well, I changed my mind. And I quit. I'm now trying to get a job on BYU campus. I'm really excited to be done with Response. I'm applying this week to be a Writing Fellow, which is pretty much a peer paper reviewer.

I'm loving school. As of right now, I should finish school (besides my capstone) a year from the end of next fall semester, so in about a year. I'm thinking of adding an editing minor though, but I haven't looked too seriously at that.

Ben and I are planning on going to China in about a year, to teach English. We're really excited for it.

Ben and I are working on a project. Well, Ben is working on a project and I'm helping as much as I can. Which isn't very much. But it's really exciting. It's a video game, we're going to do a Kickstarter for it. Ben and I both really enjoy talking about marketing and entrepreneurship together. It's a common interest and we have a lot of fun with it together.